Renji's Lament
by Freaking Cage
Summary: Renji thinks about things while Rukia changes in the bathroom. Nothing dirty, one shot R&R. RukiaxRenji


Thump Thump Thump

_Just do it! _The vice captain ordered himself. _It's not that big a deal!_

"Renji! What're you doing? It's in the top drawer to your left. Hurry up! I'm cold!" Rukia whined from inside the bathroom.

_Come on, get a grip!_ Renji steeled himself and headed for the drawer. He hastily opened the top left drawer and pulled out a pair of underwear for his friend. He grabbed a pair and vaguely looked at it- just to make sure it was a pair of underwear, and not a sock or something –and rushed to the door. He knocked on the door harshly and Rukia stuck out her small hand and grabbed it from him.

"About time!" she grumbled and slid her hand back into the door, clutching her pair of Chappy the Bunny underwear. Renji remained in his spot, staring dumbly at the white wood before him.

_Relax, _he tried to calm himself._ Rukia's just a friend. It's just like...handing Ichigo a pair of his underwear..._gulp_...Yeah!_ Renji shut his eyes tightly and shook his head, slowly backing away from the wall until he stood in a low crouch a few feet from the door. _No no no! It's _nothing_ like handing Ichigo a pair of underwear! For one thing, Ichigo probably wears boxers! _Not to mention Rukia was a girl! A girl Renji lik---

No. _Don't even go there._ He warned himself. Rukia was a friend, nothing more. He heard her rustling about in the bathroom, pulling on her clothes with fast and deft fingers. She was much more practiced at putting on human clothes now. Not like the first time; the time when she misplaced her footing and slipped on the wet tiles, slamming her head into the wall and momentarily dumbfounding herself. To Ichigo, it was a great story, to Rukia, it was something she preferred not to speak about-_ever._

The sound of fabric on fabric caused Renji's mind to wander. He envisioned Rukia stepping into her dress with practiced grace, rayon fabric flowing gently over her dainty knees as she pulled on the straps to rest on her petite little shoulders, and with efficient refinement tying a satin ribbon bow around her tiny waist. Renji pulled his hands before his eyes and peddled backwards at a remarkable speed, trying to rid his mind of his current train of thought. He ended up crash landing into Ichigo's bed, and laid there, hands clutching the bed sheets, trying to think of anything except Rukia's body- so close but _so far._

"Hey what happened?" Rukia called. A snicker was heard. "Did you run into the fan again?"

"W-wha--? Shut up fool! Just hurry up!" Renji stammered hurriedly in an attempt to cover up his nervous state with false bravado.

"Che. Fine." She muttered indignantly, and Renji sighed.

Sure Renji had always liked Rukia. A small crush, but it was the way a guy friend liked a girl friend. The same attraction you hold toward a member of the opposite sex, but realizing that you're _only friends_. Friends don't want to touch other friends in certain ways. Renji always held himself back. Sure he liked Rukia, but not enough to actually do something about it. Except...ever since Ichigo and company had come barreling through the Seireitei to save her, Renji found that he _did_ like Rukia that way. He may not have wanted to do anything about it before, but he definitely did now.

Should he do something? I mean, he was a guy, and he was supposed to do this kind of thing, right? Yeah sure, easier said than done. Renji was a masculine, heterosexual man...with no actual practice in this area. He'd never really _thought_ to ask girls on dates- it's not like he had the time anyway, being obsessed for the longest amount of time in trying to be stronger than Byakuya.

And that was a whole other issue! Rukia's _brother_ was his _commander_! You can't just date your commander's sister! It would be like dating the _president's_ _daughter_; it made for a nice sappy romantic comedy, but in real life? Get _real_. Renji pulled his sweaty palms over his blushing face and took a deep breath.

_Relax man. Just get a grip._

"Okay, I'm done. Did you need to take a shower?" Rukia exited the bathroom, her light pink dress reaching her knees and showing off her tiny shoulders, exactly how Renji had imagined it.

Funny though, sometimes, even if your imagination had the perfect idea of reality, reality was just so much better. Renji took a moment to take in the sight. She was beautiful, she was perfect, she was elegant. She was a little doll Renji wanted to just rip out of its box and keep next to him for a lifetime.

But she was also his best and oldest friend.

And she was his commander's sister...Adopted sister. Whatever.

The worst part was that he could see it. He could see himself, standing by her side for the rest of his lifetime, even as a dead man. He'd already fought out his past with her, why not the future? Begrudgingly Renji sat up and rubbed the back of his head. He stood up and walked over to her, clapping one hand to her shoulder.

"Renji? Something wrong?" Rukia asked, thin eyebrows closing together in concern for her old friend.

Renji looked at Rukia, and understood the deep emotions he felt for her. He liked her. He loved her. But his sentiments weren't worked out, everything was misplaced and chaotic. He needed to wait, wait until he understood the Dewey Decimal System of his love for her before he could really bring it out in the open.

"You're in my way, pipsqueak." He twisted his grip on her shoulder and pushed her slightly out of the way. Her once thoughtful expression changed harshly, mouth turning downward as she bared her teeth.

"Oh yeah?! How's this for being in your way?!" she bellowed, large volume emitting from her petite form. She grabbed his hand and twisted it in her grip, giving him an Indian Sunburn.

"Yow!!" Renji hollered, and Rukia continued her attack by jumping on top of the man and pulling his hair. "Dirty fighter dirty fighter!!"

"Says the guy who once threw dirt in my eyes!!"

"You deserved it!"

"And you deserve _this_!" Their fight continued and Renji soon forgot about his inner turmoil. Who could concentrate on baring your soul to the love of your life, when the said 'angel' was biting your arm?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Author's Note: OMG this took FOREVER. This is my third time writing it! My computer deleted both files I'd tried to write of earlier, and it wouldn't recover them!! But no matter, I have the job done. ::claps to self:: This is also for my friend, but also for me. The only time I ever really like Rukia is if she's with Renji. He needs a break the poor fellow. Go get her Renji!!!


End file.
